Rap Song I Wrote in High School
I was born and raised in Seoul, Korea and was deported from Korea to America when I was 15 years old for selling drugs. It’s already been 11 years since I got deported but more importantly 10 years since I’ve given my life to Christ. The old temptations and struggles don’t grip me like they used to. That old lifestyle in many ways has just become a memory and I can truly say God has made me into a new man.
Today, I asked an old friend to send me a rap song I wrote a year after I gave my life to Christ my senior year in high school. During those years, a lot of my friends used to rap and I tried dabbling into it but realized early on that I didn’t have the talent or gift for it.
I haven’t heard it in years and only asked because she told me she had it saved on her computer since high school. I was curious because I remember the song was about my battles and struggles in trying to follow Jesus. I vaguely remember writing the lyrics as a high schooler, during a time where I was fighting with all my strength to leave my life of sin and follow Christ.
As strange as this may sound, I immediately felt the presence of God as I started listening to the song. Not because the song was good (in fact, it’s actually kind of embarrassing), but because God started reminding me how far He’s brought me. Tears began to well in my eyes because my heart was moved by God’s transformative grace in my life. Listening to this song put me on a memory lane and I started remembering and feeling how hard it was trying to follow Jesus the early years of my life.
I know I’m still young. But never in a million years would have I thought God would bring me this far. I never thought I was going to graduate high school. I never thought I was going to succeed at anything in life. I was convinced that I was going to amount to nothing in life.
But it seems to me that God had other plans.
So why a blog post on this?
I just wanted to testify.
I want to testify that our God, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is an amazing God who saves and transforms lives.
I am so in awe of You Lord. How personal, faithful and kind You have been to me. I pray God that in everything I do, in everything I say that You will be honored and glorified.
Thank You for being such a wonderful God. I love You Lord, so much.
Hear My Prayer,
Jeremiah 29 verses 11-13, Isaiah 47 verse 10
There’s so many times I’ve failed, living this new life is really hard Lord,
I need You, Here my prayer Lord.
I miss my home and I place my place
Smoking Dro I gotta let it go
I miss my boys and I miss my home
Living in Champaign all alone
But Jesus Christ He got my back
He saved my life, I got to give it up,
It's a constant fight for the rest of my life
I once was dead but now I live
I once but blind but now I see
Reality is that it’s hard for me
Truth is that I was stuck in fame
but look at me now, full of shame
I can’t give it up I came this far,
Coming from a life behind the bars
Jesus Christ show me the way
These are the words I have to say
I’m freal man He gots a plan
Waiting for me, right next door
I’m coming thru I’m ready to war
Head on collision with the flesh
Words can’t express where I’m coming from
You sent Your son to save my life
I’m standing here tall and strong
I live your plan and I can’t go wrong
Look at me now people say I’m not the same
Something’s changed, I’m acting strange
But no they wrong, I’m living right
No more darkness, only light
I’m ready to fight, for the rest of my life,
Hear my cry, hear my prayer, hear my song
Lord I need you by my side,
This is hard and I cannot hide
The devil lives he’s taunting me
But through the Word give me strength and through my prayers make me strong
This is hard and I can’t go long
So many times I failed to see,
I must be blind, but one more time,
Is one more fight, is one more step closer to you I get to you,
I need you Lord, forgive me Lord for the things I’ve done,
Here i here I come make me strong and I don’t want to run, run, run, run…